As a minor who’s native roots originated outside the United States, and a woman growing up in Western Society, obstacles forced themselves in my path like the plague. Life’s incessancy on obstructing paths is not limited to me. Struggle is not prejudice. Like an epidemic, it seeks all people, all ages, cultures, and races. All people experience difficult times going through life, it’s part of the game. Not even my innocence at infancy could deter the difficulty placed in my life. This lead to insecurity and mistrust of others. Living life behind a glass dome of comparisons, judgements and insecurities, it was me against the rest of them. Them being the other people around me, up to and including and movie stars, people who I believed were better than myself. I didn’t have the awareness to see myself in the eyes of other people. Disconnected. The culture that overloads the minds of impressionable young girls into believing the only way to to be truly happy is by being like the beautiful and wealthy, and by gaining expensive objects like gifts and clothes and cars and jewelry. Money, can buy the things we think we want but we will be lacking fulfillment inside as these are not our sincerest desires. They are not our desires at all, they are the desires of the society we are brought up in, mainly the media. A game to stimulate the economy.
You are absolutely who you are supposed to be, the problems arise when we feel we need to be like the people we visually see around us. We are preprogramed to believe we aren’t connected. We are to idealize and envy and stress over the fact that we are not like the models or the movie stars, or as smart as this person, or as artistic as this other person. If we are not the best in someone else’s eyes, we are not good enough. We place many many burdens upon ourselves by setting these guidelines for who we are supposed to be but not who we truly are. Illness is created by ourselves as a reaction to feeling too much pressure inside ourselves. Literal pressure, stress. Its not symbolic, pressure literally builds up inside your body and like a boiling pot, the water vapors have to escape because the container holding the water can NOT contain the pressure. Our physical bodies, our veins, and arteries cannot force this increased pressure to conform to the limits of our circulatory system. It will force the lid of the pot off and boil over. We are like water, we are fluid. I know you’ve heard this a million times, “our bodies are 75-80% water”. When we introduce our bodies to toxins and stress, we breakdown.
That idea creates a slippery slope of expectations and misrepresentations in our minds. Girls, like my younger self, develop poor self image, and eating disorders, mental health concerns, drug addiction, dishonesty, anger, resentment and so much more. We become reduced down to an image in a magazine, and this creates limitations in our minds and keeps us sick. We carry stress even though we don’t even consciously think about it, it stays in the back of our minds. This toxic influence is noted in boys too. They are trained to believe the media’s image of a woman is right. If young boys don’t believe the same thing that mainstream media believes, there is something wrong with them. People end up making decisions based on what the senses can interpret. I hope that makes sense because it really does in my mind. We become blind to who we are and search for an image to pathetically represent this shadow of our former self. I do know that as long as I set expectations for myself based on someone else, I will never feel enough as just me. We are unconsciously setting expectations to come while trying to resemble someone else and essentially gripping at reality but unintentionally blocking the fluidity of the body.
Our bodies are mechanical, and always try to allow energy to even out throughout our bodies, reach homeostasis. When we get stressed, our heart will beat faster pumping our blood and the increased amount of cortisol, and stress hormones to different areas of the body and deposit these hormones into any area that will allow it. Most likely into our joints, and if no area exists, the body will transfer hormones and the toxins we consume anywhere and everywhere. Including areas where no room exist like inside organs and bones and these toxins push and pull on our physical bodies. (Release) These cavities and areas of dense toxins prevent the body from doing what it is meant to do. (Flow) The toxins may be things like sugar byproduct, cortisol, free radicals, and will attempt to will create its own way of release. The body constantly wants to be in homeostasis so it will move these toxins to any part of the body that has an area of opening. Like fluid, it fills in all gaps. This manifests through rashes, headaches, back aches. The body literally gets clogged.
I keep having to remind myself, I do not owe anyone an explanation so, stop trying to please other people. Other people are not with you every waking moment of your life, only you are. Make decisions for yourself, live in yourself, not based on what you believe others view of you is. If you don’t like yourself or if you live in pretense as someone else, you will be miserable and sick. Sickness is simply the bodies way of telling you you’re going down the wrong path or you have too much going on, and you need some you time. Your brain literally understands you. It knows when you’re stressed, or uncomfortable, or holding something in. That’s the worst thing one can do, hold on emotions. It doesn’t go away.