I had been told that I’m a slow learner, and I believed it. I allowed it to absorb into my being and I believed it so much that I treated life like everyone was smarter than me. I seriously thought it so much so that when I smoked one night in my late teens or early 20s, I Iiteraly thought I was slow. Out of fear, I made decisions trying to disprove this belief. I went to college and completed one of the hardest programs in the school. Nursing School. Once I accomplished this, I pretended like it was exactly what I wanted to do and I was really good and knowledgeable about it. I was gifted at nursing but I couldn’t channel my energy properly, and I allowed patients, co-workers, and the medical field to drain me of my spirit. I gave and gave and gave until I became resentful. I lost sight of my purpose and what reality truly is. I never even invested the time in figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. I’m good at anything I can put my mind to and I have control over my life, my energy, and thoughts. I think many people are confronted with this issue but don’t even realize they are on auto pilot, living the life someone else wanted for them. If I can wake one person’s eyes to this idea, and help one person, its worth it to me. That gut feeling you get that tells you ‘you are meant for greater things,’ thats your spirit, or intuition. We’ve been conditioned to suppress it so much that most of society is living on auto pilot, not listening to their inner voice. Once people let go of the idea that money is the goal, then money will flow.
Letting go of money is tough, but having this understanding of our true nature and living as me vs. what my friends and family or society expects of me broke my spirit. I was at the point of physical illness, or mental breakdown. My body was telling me somethings not right. My incredible brain communicates to my body–>”I’m going to make you sick because you’re not listening to your INTUITION. I have to get your attention somehow.”
For 2 years I had what I thought was lime disease, morgellons, lupus, chronic fatigue syndrome, adrenal fatigue, back pain, insomnia and slept so much of my life away. I was so immersed by the idea that what society says is right. I followed what society said, and I floundered miserably. I fell off the edge of the earth because I wasn’t my true self.