The way the mind interprets ourselves is huge. This is based on our past experiences, our genetics, our confidence and influences. Past experiences, and holding on to our baggage can really ruin us. Past issues can’t be ignored or just forgotten, try and you will not succeed. These issues have to be dealt with in order to move forward in life. The anxiety this will cause will ultimately hold you back in life. Let go of these burdens by getting the help you so desperately need. Whether you are angry that your parent left you, angry about childhood molestation, had a terrible divorce, lost a loved one. I encourage every person dealing or struggling with some serious issues to truly seek out the help that is needed. Talk it out or you will eventually hit that self destruct button one too many times.You have to free yourself of your anxieties, your insecurities and you will feel renewed.I found that giving my life to God and following the word of our Holy Father, makes my life fulfilled. I also have found that talking to my friends and family about my past issues, helps lighten some if the weight of the baggage I carry. I enjoy painting as a means of stress relief. I’ve also found practicing yoga to be beneficial for both my mind and body.
Thank you for visiting my site!
First I’d like to dedicate this site to anyone who is lost in the darkness of depression. May you find the light of God who will lead you to salvation and true inner peace.
Requesting an introverted personality type to get out and go see a doctor is an enormous feet. These people have so much fear and anxiety, the thought alone creates false beliefs that initiate a chain reaction. These false beliefs create more anxiety which then may lead to bodily sensations of ailments, body ache, headaches, and indigestion, or even skin issues. There is a direct link between mind and body. This site is about finding a healthy balance between mind body and soul. I’m a believer of the idea that if your mind isn’t healthy, your body and soul won’t be healthy. The body is a physical representation of what’s happening within ourselves, in our minds and in our lives. Anxieties, insecurities, and unhealthy thoughts always find a way to manafest itself outwardly if not properly handled. It could present as a disease, an ache, a pain, a disability, or a bad feeling. I want to help anyone be the best they can possibly be by living a healthier, happier life, and letting their inner anxieties go. No, it’s not about changing yourself completely into a new person but changing the things around you as well as your unhealthy habits so you may understand how to adapt to a more healthy way of living. Skeptics indicate the need for a rebirth but the task of starting new is monumental for someone undergoing life trauma.
Take time today to listen to yourself and remember your life goals, your ambitions. Take time to remember all your accomplishments and acknowledge yourself for them.
Let go of your failures just tell yourself, “I made a mistake, it’s ok. I’m going to stop fretting over my failures and let go of my insecurities. No one is perfect and that’s the way the world is meant to be.” True perfection only exists within the infinite boundaries of our perception of ourselves and in perspective of the universe of our minds.
You’re the boss of your life, start living!
I did not write this article, just sharing 😇
A temple we visited while in Sri Lanka.
We today, in the Western world, are very often more busy than we can actually handle. We are constantly on the go, trying to get more done in less time, often losing sight of our ultimate purpose as well as the things that truly matter to us.
Committing to some sort of spiritual practice helps me slow down. It allows me to tune into my inner being, how I FEEL, and what I need in the present moment. It asks me to tune into my breathing.
THE FIRST THING I DID WHEN MY MOM BROUGHT ME INTO THIS WORLD.
I know I have overstretched when my breathing is out of sync. It tells me to take a step back, reflect and reevaluate. It questions whether what I’m focusing my energies on is what really matters? It asks whether I am giving my body the respect it deserves. My body that carries me forward day in and day out. Is it being nurtured and nourished the way it needs to so it can renew and regenerate positive life-affirming energies?
I used to be able to push and push until I could no longer go further. The consequences however, were adverse. My body was responding to the lack of respect and gratitude I was showing it.
MY MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT WERE OUT OF ALIGNMENT WITH EACH OTHER.
I would try to rationalize every decision I had to make, unable to get in touch with my intuition about how I actually felt about the situation.
Slowing down allowed for things to change. As I tuned into my body, I recognized the neglect. The need to detox and re-center was very clear. I strongly believe that our bodies, during our precious time on mother earth, are a vessel for messages from the universe and/or a higher power. When our energies out of sync and detached from our inner being were are unable to tune into the power of the universe trying to root for us.
We are often too focused on the obstacle presented to us that we are unable to see the lesson we are meant to learn from it at that precise moment in time. Rather we are often looking for a strategy to fast forward past that obstacle without realizing that the only way out is through. Every time we try to skip past a certain obstacle, it will be presented to us in one form or another at an alternate stage of life.
As I meditated, I could hear and feel the magic the universe was bestowing upon me. I started to live more consciously, with an open heart, mind, body and soul. I could feel the change in energy. I felt lighter, with more gratitude. My creative abilities have been amplified.
My menstrual cycle has synced with the New Moon, signaling alignment with the White Women cycle. I can sense that my body is in alignment with the rhythm of Mother Earth’s natural cycles of fertility and creation.
Knowing how good it feels to be in alignment with mind, body and soul, I no longer push myself past my known limits. I know I produce best when in alignment with my inner being and the universe. The more I respect and honor this understanding, the more I reap the benefits of it.
Knowing that there is a higher power watching over me with love and compassion has allowed me to let go of the myth of certainty and control I used to carry with me. I strongly believe that whatever is meant to be will find its way to me at the right time. I know that there is force greater than me working on my life plan and that I can let go of the need to figure it all out right now and here.
Rather when I sit back and enjoy the journey, learning life’s lessons along the way, all that I need continues to flow into my life with grace, ease and lightness.
So while all of this change has triggered a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, it has also opened my eyes to a higher perspective and resulted in a worthwhile change in my overall attitude and approach to life. And in my eyes, focusing on the latter allows me to move through life with ease and compassion, in alignment with the universe. Besides I have the disorder, it doesn’t have me.
Until next time,
LOVE & HUGS,
Often we are bombarded by our environment, the desires and needs of others. Within us all illumination peaks brisk but is set aside for those material things which we recognize as valuable. Happiness is brought when we make room for others and give others.
The light refuses to hide so it shines more brightly to illuminate the path for others. The words echo, telling the light to be more red, don’t be yellow, that’s wrong. Be more still, be more bright but not that bright! Don’t burn like that, you’re not warm enough! Why does the light listen?
Light shines bright orange and stays very still and creates the path for others but feels empty and wrong. Not following the path laid out but giving to others and doing what others want. Unworthiness created ignites the fire red. A fire will become wild given the right environmental conditions. When underestimated, it will obliterate any signs of life. The fire will burn until it feels its done. Despite all mans efforts, a wildfire will sometimes burn and destroy anything in its path. Then the fire goes. Then it’s done, new life is created from ash.
Life is often like this. We must tear down the person we no longer wish to serve and allow the birth of a new us.
A human cannot be controlled by others and told what to do in all aspects of life. This can lead to feelings of always doing something wrong. Feeling like you’re always backwards or doing something wrong leads to insecurities and anger. People will not feel fulfilled and do something else to feel themselves. Feelings are meant to be felt, not suppressed or labeled a disease.
The small light wants to be itself. Let it be.
By: Nicole Cyrus
“In the ’80s, I was a scrappy black teenage girl determined to solve for x in this equation:
buppie = a young upwardly mobile black professionalbuppie + ambition = a black professional hungry for opportunitybuppie + ambition + x = a black female CEO of a Fortune 500 company
A week after I turned 16, I called my mother into the kitchen for a meeting. I was running a personal campaign to become an international business tycoon from my family’s ranch home near Washington, D.C. My mother, a registered nurse, had volunteered to be my assistant. She sat with her hands folded on the wooden table, awaiting instructions.
“Do you know any businesspeople who can hire me for an office job?” I asked.
“One, maybe two,” my mother said. “I’ll call them and see if they will speak with you.” She squeezed my hand in support, but she wanted me to calm down.
No words could aptly describe the extreme pressure I put on myself to make the covers of Forbes and Black Enterprise magazines before I hit the age of 30. I couldn’t find the source of my fierce drive. My parents had high expectations for me, especially my father — a hardworking mechanic originally from Costa Rica — but I aimed for the upper echelons of business because I yearned to be a trailblazer. Finding a black female chief executive in America was like searching for a unicorn. I figured if I couldn’t find one, I’d have to become one.
Sheryl Sandberg, with whom I share a birth year, wouldn’t write Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead for another 30 years. But I understood I needed an accountability partner to motivate me, to push me forward. I had diverse, ambitious friends who inspired me, but one person seemed to understand me best: Alex P. Keaton (played by Michael J. Fox) on the ’80s sitcom Family Ties.
Alex was a fictitious white guy from Columbus, Ohio. I was a black girl from suburban Maryland. He talked back to his parents. I valued my car privileges. He was a Republican. I was an independent. But Alex was my spirit animal. We shared a preppy fashion sense, type A personalities, and an obsession with business. We both planned to rule the world.
Everywhere Alex went, he dressed like a boss. He put together a wardrobe that commanded respect: suits, ties, argyle sweaters. I combed the racks of Loehmann’s and Bloomingdale’s and assembled a power wardrobe from clearance items. I paired blazers with dress slacks, jeans with hoop earrings. He carried a leather briefcase. I toted around the finest leather shoulder bag I could afford.
Alex was 100 percent business, and he sometimes appeared callous. I was 80 percent business and 20 percent playful, a mix that made me human but restless. One afternoon while my high school friends and I watched Pretty in Pink in a movie theater, I invented names for my future multi-billion-dollar empire. I was business, business, business, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t turn off the fixation. My mother said it started after I spotted a black female executive in Ebony magazine when I was a child.
A month after I held my meeting with Mom in our kitchen, I landed a job as an accounting clerk for a hotel management company, thanks to a woman at my family’s church. At the end of that summer, my parents asked me to quit and focus on being a kid. They noticed the emerging workaholic monster growing inside me and feared I would burn out before I turned 18. After a few days of begging, I persuaded them to let me work after school three days a week and during the summers. At the office, my manager promoted me twice before I graduated from high school.
Finding a black female chief executive in America was like searching for a unicorn. I figured if I couldn’t find one, I’d have to become one.
Because of the job, my grades suffered slightly. I was an A/B student instead of a straight-A geek like Alex. He was headed to the Ivy Leagues, until an incident with his sister Mallory cost him admission to Princeton (see: season 2, episode 12). I chose to attend a state school as an out-of-state student, the alma mater of my mother’s sister Deborah, an up-and-coming marketing executive herself. Aunt Deb was tall and chic and had a penchant for cat’s-eye glasses. She lived in the Midwest and was the only black female business leader I knew at the time. She was inspirational to be sure, but Alex pulled me in with his charisma. He had my full attention.
Friends and family laughed at me whenever I mentioned my fascination with Alex. They rolled their eyes. Shook their heads in disbelief and exhaled before giving me the inevitable lecture.
“You know Alex is white, right?” they would say.
“And he is a man.”
“So why are you trying to be like him?”
Because Alex and I share the same American Dream, I would say in my head. This defense sounded absurd, even to me. Alex and I were not equals. Not on a fictional TV show, not in real life, not in Ohio, not in Maryland, not on our respective college campuses, not at our first jobs after graduation. We had gender and racial differences, which were impossible to ignore. At birth, men who looked like Alex entered an exclusive club granting them access to job opportunities, career counseling, and professional relationships available only to insiders.
I stopped talking about Alex. I became an accountant, earned an MBA, then bounced from job to job across the country — stalling in corporate finance management roles at several Fortune 500 companies. Two of my proudest accomplishments included creating a $2 billion budget for land, building, and equipment purchases, and calculating the selling price for a dying brand spun off for a huge profit. Maybe I was naïve, but I expected more than a few pats on the back for my efforts. I wanted a sponsor, an executive to view me as an asset and offer me promotions. I longed for rewards for my contributions.
After years of drifting, I was losing my fire. What was I doing wrong? I talked sports, overlooked insensitive political jokes, ignored lecherous comments. I read business magazines and national papers to take part in shoptalk. Nothing worked. I was leaning in but still stumbling. I tried to find my footing, tried to belong, but few executives (in most cases, white men) offered to help further my career.
One night while stewing over my frustrations about work, I blacked out and fell off the toilet in my bathroom. I woke up with a nasty bump on my forehead, and after visiting an emergency room, I saw a cardiologist who hooked a heart monitor on me for 24 hours.
“You had a panic attack,” the doctor said during my follow-up appointment. “What is causing you stress?” His voice was soothing, gentle. He pulled the electrodes off my chest and handed me a sheet of paper with scribbly lines detailing the wild racing of my heart.
The chart spooked me. I was in my early 30s, healthy. I lifted weights and rode a stationary bicycle four days a week. I was too young to be worried about preventing a heart attack.
The doctor stared at me, waiting for my answer, as I squirmed on the examining table. “My job is killing me,” I finally said to him. It hurt to acknowledge the truth. I was a workhorse, but I was invisible when promotions came up. I received confusing feedback from managers: “You’re too nice.” “A few people say you’re mean.” “Speak up more at meetings.” “Sit back and take notes.” “Your work is impeccable.” “Try harder.” “You have a good job. Be grateful.”
The doctor continued to stare at me in silence. I glanced away, avoiding the pity in his eyes. I blinked back tears. I was angry. Angry with myself for giving so much of myself to corporate entities, angry with myself for believing I could rise to the heights I had imagined as a kid. Angry with myself for modeling my actions after a TV character who made sailing through life look effortless. I had found it easier to lean in with a fictional white man than to nail down real mentors. “Get rid of the stress.” The doctor squeezed my shoulder. “Find a new career, and do it soon.”
I didn’t have a plan B, so I stayed at my job. Day by day, I slowly recovered from my anger and disappointment. I showed up for work with more realistic expectations about the advancement of women and people of color in the corporate world. I gave up on leaning in as a businesswoman, after a decade of scrambling for a seat at the table.
Few black women at my office were breaking through. During our hectic days, we would bump into each other in break rooms, hallways, and restrooms and give each other pep talks and sometimes hugs. We became sister-friends. In most cases, we were the only black women in our respective departments, catalysts for change in a small way, and we leaned on each other to cope with our loneliness and hurt. “Stay strong,” we would say in passing before rushing off to our desks. We kept our heads down and continued working, like good employees.
Three years after my conversation with the cardiologist, I finally prioritized my health and well-being. I was in a new city, after moving to Dallas from Washington, D.C., to set up a finance office for my then-employer, a tech company. The assignment gave me another talking point to add to my résumé, but it was time to say goodbye to the fantasy world that had shaped my teenage and young adult life. With my resignation, my career in finance and my quest to become a trailblazer at a Fortune 500 company officially ended.
On my last day, my hands trembled as I lugged a box of my belongings and a bouquet of yellow roses to my Honda. I took one last glance at the shiny office building standing tall in the oppressive Southern sun. I was apprehensive about my future. A heavy sense of uncertainty trailed me as I sped north on Dallas Parkway to my apartment.
I wasn’t alone. Other black women were exiting corporate America. We had tired of striving and striving while waiting for mentors and promotions that never came. Out of frustration and a need for fulfillment, some black women were walking away from secure lifestyles to explore new careers or start their own businesses, adjusting their American dreams.
Kickstart your weekend reading by getting the week’s best Longreads delivered to your inbox every Friday afternoon.
Black women are ambitious. Maybe because we are finally able to explore career options that were previously out of our reach. For generations, our possibilities were limited. White-collar jobs, especially executive roles, were out of the question. TV shows and movies depicted us toiling as slaves, maids, or nannies: The Help, Gone with the Wind, Gimme a Break, 12 Years a Slave, and The Long Walk Home. Is it any wonder we want more? Contemporary black women want to see how far we can go without barriers. After I realized this, my eyes opened to the complexities of our pain. I became enraptured by the idea of becoming a career coach for women of color, a pursuit that allowed me to use my experiences to encourage black women in corporate America from the sidelines.
As of 2019, only 33 women lead Fortune 500 companies. The numbers are especially distressing for women of color. The sole Latina CEO, Geisha J. Williams of Pacific Gas and Electric Company, stepped down in 2019. Indra Nooyi, a female CEO of South Asian descent, left PepsiCo in October 2018. Two women executives of Asian descent made the Fortune 500 list as of June 2019: Lisa Su of Advanced Micro Devices and Joey Wat of Yum China. There are zero Native American CEOs.
Black women have made little progress at chipping away at what Fortune magazine calls the “black ceiling”:
Number of black female CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, 1980-1999: 0
Number of black female CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, 2000-2019: 2*
- Mary Winston served as Interim CEO of Bed Bath & Beyond for a brief time in 2019. The first black female CEO of a Fortune 500 firm, Ursula Burns, stepped down from the top job at Xerox in 2016. Today zero black women run a Fortune 500 company. A few months after Ms. Burns’ departure, she gave an interview with CNN, and she was quoted saying, “Structurally, business is still made for men.”
As part of their American Dream series, CNN created a video about Ursula Burns, chronicling her ascent from a New York City housing project to the CEO corner office. She discusses her personal and professional experiences in a matter-of-fact tone, cracking jokes at times, but near the end of the video, she states that the business world holds women to a different standard than men. The conflicted look on Burns’s face saddened me. She wore the same wounded expression I had seen on the faces of my sister-friends. There was anguish in her eyes, isolation in her words. Words she articulated with caution as if she was editing herself, but I wanted to hear more. It is lonely at the top, lonely as the first and lonely as the only one. At the CEO level, who was there to lean in with Burns?
I wasn’t alone. Other black women were exiting corporate America. We had tired of striving and striving while waiting for mentors and promotions that never came.
Across America, black girls interested in business are dreaming about taking their place in CEO corner offices. If they reach their goal, will they have support? Prominent black female business leaders are now laying the groundwork for progress: Oprah Winfrey, Cynthia Marshall, Arlan Hamilton, Mellody Hobson, Ann-Marie Campbell, Thasunda Duckett, Carla Harris, and former first lady Michelle Obama, to name a few.
On December 1, 2018, Obama weighed in on the Lean In movement while promoting her memoir, Becoming, in Brooklyn: “That whole ‘so you can have it all.’ Nope, not at the same time. That’s a lie. And it’s not always enough to lean in, because that shit doesn’t work all the time.”
Leaning in is a two-way street. You can’t lean in alone. In most cases, white men lean into each other.
In 2015, my friend Denise called me to discuss her career. She was a finance director at a French company, overseeing operations for North and South America. Denise was the highest-ranked black female in her office. Her immediate goal was to become a global director, one level up from her current job. The opportunity would take her to Europe full-time.
“My boss postponed the conversation about my promotion again,” she said in a weary voice. “I’m not sure it will happen.”
I sat in my kitchen, quietly agreeing. Denise had entered the company like a tornado, fixing broken finance systems and rebuilding employee morale. She had toured the locations under her purview to rally excitement about the company. She had received numerous awards and accolades, but she wanted more responsibility.
“Did I ever tell you how I became interested in finance?” she asked. “Alex P. Keaton from Family Ties inspired me.”
I straightened up. “No way! Me too!”
We were silent for a long moment, then she chuckled, which caused me to chuckle, then our tee-hees turned into roaring laughter. The mood between us was full of many emotions — embarrassment, relief, disappointment, comfort. We laughed and laughed until we reflected on our shared experience: We were two black women naïve enough to mirror the actions of a white male TV character, thinking we would reap the same rewards.
“I’m staying in finance,” she said.
“Good,” I said. “We need you there.” Seeing a black woman at any level of power gives another black woman hope.
In 2016, Denise left the French company and accepted a job with a large U.S. organization. She phoned me to share her news. “I feel good about this opportunity,” she said. “Maybe this time an executive will mentor me.” Denise was excited, hoping a sponsor would boost her career.
Three years later, she is still waiting.”-Nicole Cyrus
Nicole Cyrus is an essayist and career coach. She is working on a book about race and gender bias in everyday life. Her nonfiction has appeared in Brevity and Lunch Ticket, and will be featured in the upcoming anthology The Best of Brevity (Rose Metal Press, 2020). She lives in the Washington, D.C. area.
Editor: Katie Kosma Fact-Checker: Samantha Schuyler Copyeditor: Jacob Z. Gross
- Meditation promises many great health benefits such as:
- increased awareness,
- decreased anxiety
- increased energy
- feeling joyful
- spiritual enlightment
- decline in dependence of pharmaceutical medication
- Better relationships
- More confidence
- Increased Neurological connectivity
- decreased pain
- Peace and serenity
The problem lies within our minds. We often lack the patience and discipline to focus long enough to capture the amazing benefits meditation has to offer.
People will often begin the practice very enthusiastically. They will assume the position, and initiate the breathing but after a few minutes of sitting silently by themselves they become restless and quit.
We aren’t used to removing all stimulation and distraction from our attention. The act of sitting alone quietly creates a door for thoughts to flow through and a thought will emerge that will cause you to get up and quit. “OMG I have so much laundry to do!” or “Oh no I forgot to call and set up that appointment.”
Another reason for failure is the fact that the meditation posture can sometimes cause discomfort in the back. Back pain is extremely common as we hold the majority of our stress in our backs.
With that, the meditation is over.
I believe every person should be able to experience the benefits of meditation. I struggled with it at first as well and I want to help people reach their potential.
It’s so important to manage stress. Stress is responsible for so many diseases and emergencies. Meditation is the solution.
Contact us to receive a personal guided meditation walk through. Along with that we will personally assist you to understanding the internal blocks preventing you from achieving your goals, provide inspiration and motivation to get your life going. You don’t have to do it alone. Contact our meditation coaches for assistance.
Located in Akron, Ohio
An illusion symbolizing the minds sanity the size of a seed. It leads to waver between reality the pretense of joy illuminating from nothing. I force myself, submit to convention. The authority over mind absconded by one with no real knowledge of my path, but filled with facts recalled from text. The one who’s intellect surpasses mine.
Blood unnecessarily shed leads to a false belief that I am better. A fight for redemption and freedom from judgement of my true self becomes the particular objective most highly desired. Violence becomes the illusive yet pricey endeavor undertaken for an idea regarded as a natural and rightful possession entitled to man. The flesh forced to conceal the thought. Conscious awareness confesses the mind to reality perceived as normal. If not prisoner of thought, then prisoner of the material.
Outward lies disguised as gift glare harshly like the sun. Yet we remain imperceptive mental prisoners to the presents we’re given.
A rivers stream cannot flow without consequence of earth’s influence. So the mind’s interpretation of freedom remains within the compounds of a small insignificant seed. This seed which possess roots deep within medical jargon, is unlike seeds of our creation. Planted deep within earth it sprouts life, but fabricated seeds hinder the spirit and forbid enlightenment.
Anxiety forces compliance, therefore I absorb the insignificant facade I am told. A prisoner I remain, for pain, they say is undesirable. I am aware, through pain, light emerges. This faithful teacher within grieving is powerful.
A dagger in my heart failed to shed blood upon my birth, nor is anything innate present which can hurt to kill. My Lord forbids it, for through his hands perfection delivers in the seeds.
It is without restraints that pain provides light in darkness. Withheld, I remain suggestive to hippocracy of the fabrications I am taught. Not I, I resist the arrest and scoff the red herring. Only then will blindness awaken to pain’s love. Toss out the unremarkable seeds for they conceal the mind. Found deep within pain is neither darkness nor blindness. To experience pain as a gift is to truly know The divine.